For some time now, I've observed a troubling trend among people I know even close friends - where many are becoming increasingly grumpy and irritable. This phenomenon has led me to wonder: what's driving this shift in temperament, particularly among older men? While discussing this observation with younger people, a friend mentioned Pick's Disease, a form of frontotemporal dementia that affects the brain and typically strikes people under 65. However, expert estimates suggest only 15-22 cases per 100,000 people are affected by this condition. Even if the actual numbers are higher - since the disease can only be definitively diagnosed after death - it cannot account for the large number of grumpy older men I encounter. There had to be another explanation.
The thought that all these individuals might have manifest brain damage was difficult to accept, so I turned to Hannah Arendt's seminal work, "The Banality of Evil," her account of observing the Eichmann trials in Jerusalem in 1963. I delved deeper into her writings on totalitarianism and violence - works that, incidentally, should be required reading in every American high school today (if they have required reading).
At first glance, these grumpy older men appear irritable, cranky, cynical, and sarcastic - simply unpleasant to be around. They often begin supporting radical political views or embracing conspiracy theories. Their worldviews become highly contradictory; for instance, they might support autocratic measures while claiming to defend "freedom of speech." Many drift towards pseudo-theories, attempting to construct a consistent worldview within some parallel reality. Disturbingly, they often advocate for violent solutions to restore "law and order," to "teach them a lesson," or to "take back our country." These individuals are frequently intelligent, as they need considerable brainpower and creativity to construct these alternative realities. Some are among the smartest people I've ever encountered, and some possess dangerous charisma. The photo I have chosen to illustrate this blog post, is my grandfather. He was the prototype of a grumpy old man, but he had his own history which may not explain much of the contemporary causes of the phenomena.
Many of the men I've observed have defined themselves primarily through their careers. Now, in the process of retiring or having been forced into retirement, they've lost their sense of identity. However, an identity crisis alone probably isn't the sole trigger for becoming a "grumpy old man."
Arendt writes about how isolation and subsequent loneliness lay the foundation for dissatisfied and potentially violent societies. Even before retirement, many people face professional isolation—they're no longer considered for new positions, excluded from development workshops, or marginalized in other ways. Beyond isolation comes loneliness, where people lose their sense of belonging to the world entirely. At this point, the hunger for meaning drives people toward ideologies. The line between fact and fiction becomes blurred, and these older men become vocal advocates for nonsense because they feel they have nothing left to lose.
Normally, my first instinct when someone becomes a "grumpy old man" would be to delete them from my contacts and move on. I don't have the time or energy to deal this. However, if my analysis holds any truth, further isolation only exacerbates the problem on a societal level. Therefore, I've made a decision: once a month, I will reach out to a grumpy old man in my circle. I'll take him for a drink, a walk with the dog, or engage in whatever activity he enjoys—as long as it's not attending a Trump rally or its equivalent.